Finding what you need when you need it…

Posted on September 7, 2023 by Rev. Pam Reidy under grief, loss, mourning, Miles Funeral Home
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Recently while waiting for an appointment at the doctor’s office I overheard an elderly woman speaking to the check-in staff, “Please be patient with me, I am so grouchy today because I have such horrible pain.” I was struck by her self-awareness, honest judgment and her ability to get her need met by stating the obvious with simplicity and generous self-concern. We should be as unencumbered in expressing ourselves when we are grieving. Being aware of grief’s impact on us and being direct about it is fundamental to getting our needs met. Talking with a trusted friend, listening to a podcast, using an app, attending a seminar or support group, reading a grief-related book, or performing a daily ritual, may help you achieve exactly what the woman in the doctor’s office did ….state your situation plainly and elicit the help of others.

In many respects grief is a private affair; it is also a lonely journey. There are times when grief loss is overwhelming and we need some help, but not all friends, support groups, books or movies can address the moment we are experiencing. We are more likely to get the comfort we need if we know how to find and use suitable resources. The woman visiting an orthopedic doctor was in the right place, an obstetrician wouldn’t have the expertise to treat an 80-year-old woman’s leg pain.  Like her, we need to find the best resource to help with the emotions and changes that grief bring.

I am pleased to announce the topic for the next Miles Funeral Home Sharing Hope Bereavement Seminar: Finding What You Need, When You Need It.  The seminar is 1:00 p.m. Saturday, September 16, 2023 at the Holden Senior Center and includes a presentation exploring the topography of death-loss, guidelines for finding and choosing the best resource for navigating grief, and an examination of helpful books, websites, apps, podcasts, and support groups.

The Miles seminars include lunch, a chance to meet people also on the grief journey, and a free book. The book selection for this seminar is a collection of resources I have compiled to help  grievers find what they need, when they need it. It also includes an assortment of Thoughtful Thursday blogs written about grief.  The book will be given only to seminar participants and is not available outside this setting.

If you are grieving the loss of someone you love: be gentle with yourself, be good to yourself, and know there is a great deal of help available as you face the challenging, painful days.  American youth fiction writer, Kiera Cass gives great advice for the griever: “We know your strong, but accepting help is its own kind of strength.”

Please email me if you have any questions about the seminar or how to register.  Email to [email protected] or register for the seminar directly using this link:



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