Revisiting “Bah Humbug”

It was a few years ago that I first mused over the connection between unresolved grief and Scrooge’s angst against Christmas. Scrooge’s mother died giving birth to him, and his father blamed him, immediately separating emotionally from him. His sister Fan took over as a mother figure and she too died in childbirth. Having become a workaholic to shield his emotions, he lost the love of his life, Belle. His was a life filled with loss from the moment he arrived on the planet. Indeed, Dicken’s story The Christmas Carol, begins by confirming the importance of the death topic to his tale. He begins with the death of Scrooge’s partner Marley, telling us “He was dead as a door nail.” “There is no doubt that Marley was dead. This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate.” The Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens is a classic Christmastime story, and as with any classic, it carries many layers of meaning. This story is as much about the impact of a death-loss as it is about generosity and kindness at Christmas.

Loss was nearly a constant part of Scrooge’s life. Three Spirits visit to help Scrooge face and integrate the unresolved losses of his life. Dickens beautifully crafts each spirit to reflect the phases of Scrooge’s life, past, present and future. Unveiling what grief has stolen from him, these Christmastime Spirits offer him a way forward, exposing his life, not simply to judge, but to help restore the joy of life he once knew. Each Spirit helps Scrooge embrace his pain as he views his life impartially. In seeing his life as other’s see it, Scrooge gains self-compassion and healing.

Grieving the loss of someone we love, especially during the holidays is hard emotional work, but the cost of failing to do the work can be great. Whether you are grieving a single or multiple losses this holiday season, I invite you to step aside, embrace your grief, recognize it has a life of its own, and will, if not faced, control your perception of the past, present and future. It will rule your life and inevitably you will adopt the classic, “bah humbug” approach to Christmas.

For more about connection between Dicken’s The Christmas Carol and grief, read my previous blog published in December, 2022. https://blog.milesfuneralhome.com/bah-humbug/