Pet Loss

Ask anyone how their pet is doing and whether it is a dog, cat, bird, turtle or hamster, it won’t take you long to conclude that their pet is a member of the family. Pets are vital to our daily routine, interact with us through play and verbal communication, and most importantly give affection and unconditional love— unless of course, you have a cat like my “MiMi and then everything is conditioned on her getting her daily “treat” on time.

Losing our animals to death is experiencing a loss in the family.  Similar to losing a human, the loss of a furry friend brings grief, sadness, and a time of mourning. The nature of the grief is relative to the circumstance of the death. A pet’s loss can be sudden such as getting killed by a car, prolonged through illness, or some animals sensing it is their time to pass, leave without a good-bye, going elsewhere to die. At other times we may choose to relieve their suffering through euthanasia. Like any death, our immediate and extended reactions are unique to both the circumstance and the relationship we have enjoyed with our pet. The family member with whom the pet slept every night will grieve differently from a family member who lived out of the home but loved the animal deeply.

Whether we or someone we know has lost a pet, one mistake we can easily make is to assume that “it was only an animal”. This conclusion denies the reality that humans have loving relationships with animals.  Such a repudiation does not allow us to express the sadness, grieve the loss or  accommodate our daily lives without them. When we deny grief, whatever is lost, whether a job, home, relationship, person or animal, the grief remains in our heart until we acknowledge it. There it grows more powerful, beyond what is healthy.  Unresolved grief tends to show up in horrid ways such as depression, hurtful actions or unwarranted anger.  So the next time you encounter someone red-eyed, sad, and bereft over the loss of their beloved pet, please don’t minimize their pain.

Parents generally have a very good sense of what their children can handle intellectually and emotionally. It is best to guide a child through pet loss with the same wisdom, customs and process used for other difficult moments in their lives. It is important not to minimize their loss, as children have powerful relationships with their pets. Ritual helps children grieve and accept reality through concrete objects like symbols, actions, stories, music and even movies. A search of YouTube and the internet will produce many great resources to assist children in understanding loss and grieving their pet. There are also wonderful websites, books and YouTubes for adults suffering the loss of a beloved animal.

The family veterinarian or your local funeral home can assist you with an appropriate, loving disposal of your pet’s remains. Knowing that you have treated them with love will help you with the grieving process.

For me, the iconic tale The Rainbow Bridge continues to be one of the most cherished ways of comforting people who are grieving the loss of a pet. When I read it I imagine myself Doctor Doolittle, approaching the bridge encountering a kennel full of cats waiting for me to cross the bridge where I will forever enjoy their affectionate, unconditional love and MiMi will enjoy unending treats.

The Rainbow Bridge

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….                          (Author unknown)